I have not blogged in 1.5 years, aside from a few entries on my health on my other blog. For 1.5 years I have been quiet. I've spent it in prayer and reflection. There's been a lot to figure out. When life is turned up side down, moving on and finding a new normal takes A LOT of time. I am still figuring life out after leaving parish ministry. It's difficult to understand everything while in the thick of things. What does life look like, feel like, and mean after ministry? Where is my "place?" Will the ministry "hole" be filled with something else that makes life whole again? It's incredibly difficult to know for sure if people get what it really means to one day be working in parish ministry and the next not to be. It's not just a job that is easy to leave. Once a teacher, always a teacher. Once a nurse, always a nurse. It's a vocation - a calling from God. Once a youth minister, always a youth minister. I was planting seeds and watering them. I've witness fruit. Walking with people spiritually becomes who you are. It just doesn't go away. People ask, "Do you ever think you'll ever go back?" That question makes sense. If it was so hard for me to leave and move on, why wouldn't I go back (or maybe within a different type of ministry)? The answer to that is one people don't talk about publicly. My life has been marked as before and after parish ministry. There was a turning point, and breaking that open answers that question and explains why there's a before and after now. Of course, God surely could call me back to serve Him in some parish, but for now that door remains closed as I work on healing and discovering who I am without it. I was forever changed by the time I spent working in ministry. |
So this is me...I am a woman who lives with passion, self-reflection, and a desire to do God's will.
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