I can still remember the feeling of my wedding dress finding me. It was exciting. I had the tears. I LOVE that dress. It's beautiful. It was exciting to take it home that day. I looked at it often. For five months I dreamed about that dress, me in it, Matt seeing me in it, and all the moments wearing it. Every bride doesn't do this I guess, but I had the time. Matt and I were engaged 1.5 years. I never knew if I'd be married ever. Heck, I never let myself even look at rings online and pin them, so I didn't even know what I liked when Matt took me shopping! So, yes, I visualized me in that beautiful dress and the big day.
At the end of the day, this dress should have stayed at the consignment shop. It wasn't the right dress for my body, and it wasn't the right size for me. After visiting with my seamstress, I thought I could make it work. I came to the realization I couldn't lose that many inches, and I needed a different dress!! So, I began my dress shopping - the full experience I never had. Although, my heart was broken and sad, I held it together. I was strong. A seamstress came out and shared with me why my dress was wrong for me. She was almost in tears for me as I stood in a beautiful dress I never should have bought. I almost lost it right then and there. It was as if she was expressing to me what I felt on the inside. The appointment carried on....so many dresses went on and off. It was a whirlwind of emotion. Nothing compared to the beading on the first dress. I wasn't having a "moment." What if I didn't have another "moment?" Is that ok? I settled for finding a dress I was happy with and looked good in. I left with one option. I visited two more shops, which left me with a few options. The uncertainty made the decision difficult. After a night of trying on too many dresses, I finally sat on my bed and just let my emotion take over. I was worn out. I was tired of the process. I was sad. I was disappointed in how everything was and wasn't going. I just wanted to find my dress! I chose the dress that made me feel good. It was so long since I felt that. Was I sure? No. I looked back and forth at the few options so many times, and I truly didn't know which dress flattered me more when the love handles were covered or not. The fact that I felt good in a dress sealed the deal. I didn't have another "moment." I still longed for what was and mourned the loss of what was going to be, but at least I could move forward. Not everyone favored the dress I chose, but after everything, I didn't care. The battle was over. Why am I sharing this? Because there is another bride going through something similar. Or perhaps, you could avoid some heartache yourself. Consignment bridal shops are lined with brand new wedding dresses from brides who changed their mind. Luckily, I was able to sell my first dress at a decent price. I'd love to offer some advice. 1. Do try on all types of dresses even if you're dead set against a style. I wasn't for wearing strapless for the church setting, so I avoided them until I realized I should have been trying them on all along. They were the most flattering. 2. Ask for the seamstress to come out and evaluate if the dress is the right style for your body and how alterations can change the dress. Once you know the right style, it gets easier. 3. Dresses need to sit on the right spot on the hips. Often, it's missed on how far the dress should be down, so it's order a size (or more) too small...or sold too small. 4. Buy the dress you love. It's your day. You have to wear the dress. Go all over until you find the dress. 5. If there is a comfortable dress, sweet! Know that wearing a wedding dress is not usually comfortable in some way(s) - beading rubbing under your arms, it's difficult to sit, it gets a little warm, it may be super heavy, going to the bathroom is not easy, someone steps on the bottom...). 6. You will be beautiful no matter what. 7. Don't bring too many people with your when you're shopping. Too many voices can be overwhelming. I would pick 1-3 people. 8. Start early!
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So this is me...I am a woman who lives with passion, self-reflection, and a desire to do God's will.
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