There was a woman afflicted with hemorrhages for twelve years. 26She had suffered greatly at the hands of many doctors and had spent all that she had. Yet she was not helped but only grew worse. 27She had heard about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak. 28 She said, “If I but touch his clothes, I shall be cured.” 29Immediately her flow of blood dried up. She felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction. 30Jesus, aware at once that power had gone out from him, turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who has touched my clothes?” 31But his disciples said to him, “You see how the crowd is pressing upon you, and yet you ask, ‘Who touched me?’” 32And he looked around to see who had done it. 33The woman, realizing what had happened to her, approached in fear and trembling. She fell down before Jesus and told him the whole truth. 34He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has saved you. Go in peace and be cured of your affliction.” Mark 5:25-34 It came to me a few days ago that I need to be asking God to heal me of my migraines. If I pray this prayer for ten or more years, it is a prayer I need to be praying. I need to be begging and crying out to God! And if that prayer isn't answered for some time, then I need to invite Him into this struggle asking Him to be with me along the way. Please give me the wisdom I need to become smarter in understanding my specific disease...give me the strength to endure. Many people were cured by Jesus in the Bible. The faith these people had! Why not me, too? This thought came to me as I thought back to the crippled man that I've been reflecting on in my last few blogs. If it wasn't for him and the reflections from Hannah while in China, I don't think I would be picturing myself on the ground like the hemorrhaging woman reaching out to Jesus. Imagine bleeding extensively for 12 years...oh how weak she must have been. Would she have any joy? When I have migraines, it is a constant pain that chips away at anything that I am trying to do. Take the full capacity of that positive emotion and cut it down. Do the same for the physical. Do I want them for the rest of my life? No. Do I want to be healed some how, someway? Yes! Through a miracle? I'll take that today, yes Jesus! If not that, through figuring this out, "Jesus help me through this, give me wisdom and knowledge." Prayer changes things. That is a sign. You actually could buy it somewhere and hang it in your house. Our prayers don't always get answered the way WE may want them to and in our time, but they DO get answered. I am a believer in prayer, and I think it is about time I start praying for my miracle to be healed. I am only foolish to have a lack of faith to think it can't be done. Our God is never too small to handle our problems.
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I am grateful that I do not suffer like some people do with migraines where they are sick in bed with the shades pulled every single time one comes on. Although there are times you will find me this way or I'd prefer to be in bed, this is usually not the case. Most of the time I will (and be able to) continue to do activity even though it is uncomfortable. It is during this time that I am waiting for my medication to kick in, or unfortunately, without my medication and trying to make it until I can take it.
Each migraine sufferer is different. The type of migraine is different - how it comes and how it affects them. For me my migraines usually start in my forehead (one or both sides) and then it my stay and/or move down into my face where my sinuses are. This is why the doctors thought I had a sinus infection. The pain feels like a horrible sinus infection. Pressure feels wonderful to the face. From my neurologist and from reading books from the library on migraines, I've learned that I DO NOT suffer from headaches. Just because I am not sick in bed, puking, etc. I suffer from migraines. This took a while to be able to claim without hesitation of my fear of being judged. I thought I would post about migraines, since I do not walk alone as a sufferer/survivor who has been diagnosed with them. They truly are the silent cries, because if we could we would cry from the pain. However, the pain would only increase if we allowed the tears to come, so they just remain silent - absent. I was diagnosed in the summer of 2011 with migraines. My doctors ruled out a variety of different potentials first: 1. Sinus infection - since the pain was so intense in my sinus area. However, the CT scan showed healthy, beautiful sinuses. I also was on antibiotics before, which did nothing. I've read that patients are often given antibiotics for no infection, when in fact, they have migraines. 2. Allergy Test - I decided to do this test also, just to make sure. The scratch test showed that I had no allergies. I can't remember now if I did any other testing before I was sent to a neurologist, who later diagnosed me with migraines. After I went to see her, she gave me a sheet of what foods I should stay away from and what were ok. This was supposed to help me learn my tigger foods. I remember feeling so helpless going back home, because most of the foods in the house were foods I shouldn't eat. I wasn't sure where to begin. It was like starting all over. So much of our food contains MSG and is processed. And what if I don't have the time to always cook fresh? My mind soared with questions and concerns. I was put on medication to prevent my weekly migraines. I've also been on a medication for when I have migraines. This one I need to take with an over-the-counter medication and it can take several hours for it to work. Both have changed my life, and the last one makes life manageable eventually again. I see my neurologist every few months for a check up, to test to make sure the medications are not affecting my organs negatively, and to talk about any concerns I may have. I also call when I am having a bad week to see what can be done. I have found other drugs (in addition to what I've used) to be ineffective during those more challenging times. During these past years I have found it helpful to read books from the library about migraines. There are four stages to a migraine, although I can't remember what they are called. Before a migraine, during, and after are the stages. They are different for each person and the severity range also. It has taken some time to learn what my triggers are. I am still learning them. I do come to some points where I do let go of a personal attachment and love for some food/drink items, because I know it will hurt me if I consumed them. The pay off is NOT worth it in the long run. Some of my triggers are:
I am not sure yet how much weather pattern changes affect me. It can for a lot of people. Since it is late in the next post I will share about what my migraines are like (how they move throughout my face), how I differ from other migraine sufferers, and anything else I can think about. Goodnight! |
So this is me...I am a woman who lives with passion, self-reflection, and a desire to do God's will.
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