Discernment is never an easy process. I tend to forget the tedious and treacherous process that it is, until I find myself right back in it where I am trying to figure out something pretty important again. So, what is discernment...this churchy word? Over the years, I have used Wikipedia's definition: "In Christianity, the word may have several meanings. It can be used to describe the process of determining God's desire in a situation or for one's life or identifying the true nature of a thing such as discerning between good and evil. In large part, it describes the interior search for an answer to the question of one's vocation, namely, determining whether or not God is calling one to the married life, single life, consecrated life, ordained ministry (priests), or any other calling." At work this summer, I discerned different curriculum to use this year. That was not easy. I agonized over that. It has been a while since I've had to discern a decision in my personal life. It's asking God, "What is your will in my life with this right now?" Then, each and everyday I observe how God might be speaking to me in my heart and through situations, other people, Scripture, etc. Some days I think His answer can't get any clearer. I know God will reveal His will over and over again until I am certain and until I listen, because I do believe He was the one that lead me to this restlessness. It's funny how what we thought was important can quickly fade as God shows us what's really important. In the last few days there's been a lot of talk about "what would you like your life script to look like" and "meditate on your own funeral." What do you want your life to be about? In doing so, certain things are no longer important. When I finally figure out what those things are, especially when I am trying to make a decision and the discernment process is over, peace prevails! Making the changes aren't always easy, but they are easier knowing that it is what God wants. Because of that, I know He will take care of me and help things fall into place eventually. God's in the process of writing His story on my heart...and each little part is part of the work of art.
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1. High Waist Short-Shorts It did not take long to realize that these are THE THING last weekend and this weekend. The other day a teen said to me, "_(something I can't remember what)_ will never be in style." I responded with, "I thought skinny jeans would never go back in style. NEVER! But they are in style. Never say never. It will come back in style." So, yesterday, before my very eyes, I see teen after teen wearing all sorts of styles of these very high waisted shorts that are way too short. Some showed their butt cheeks just a tad bit. This picture is very conservative compared to what the teens are wearing, and for me they're still too short! For years now I don't shop as much as I used to for clothes, so I don't even know what's the younger trend. When I've really shopped for clothes in the last two years, I realized that I HATE the trend. LOL This all makes me laugh, because it shows my age. The hardest part about this is if a teen wants to dress more modestly, it's almost impossible. 2. Bus Ride Scare Matt and I rode the Milwaukee City Bus to get to Summerfest and back from one of the pick up spots. We've done this before for another event we went to. Last time I recall being one of the passengers standing once. On the way to Summerfest, several others had to stand, including some young teens, a dad, young adult man, and another man in front of us. There were others further back in the bus standing as well. As we pulled off the teens struggled to gain their balance and hold on tight enough. And then there's me who says (like a dork to the older teen girl next to me), "They need to use their core." Just maybe they know that when we squeeze our core it helps us stabilize ourselves....ha. Further on our ride a car pulls out and our bus driver has to slam on the breaks and all the people in front of us go FLYING to the front of the bus. I mean, literally to the ground to the front on top of each other. Heads were hit; backs were hurt, and as the twisted bodies got up, everyone on the bus were asking if everyone was ok. IT WAS SCARY. We all got jerked someway in that bus, but those sitting were safe and those in the back still standing must have been stronger. This really shook me, because in those moments I didn't know what was happening. I didn't see what was coming. I couldn't help anyone. I was unaware of what my body was doing. All I was aware of was seeing those people go straight to the front of the bus. If this would have been worse, it could have been a very bad accident. Thankfully bruises will probably be the only aftermath. 3. An Act of Kindness
I truly forget about people smoking until I go to festivals! It sounds funny, but I am not around cigarette/cigar, etc. smoke regularly. Aside from hating the smell and not wanting to breathe in the fumes, I will get migraines if I stay around the smell for too long. It didn't take long to realize that people are still smoking once we got into Summerfest! lol I cannot lie; I do take for granted my smoke-free life. It is a good life, and I plan to continue to protect it for health reasons. Later that night, Matt and I found our place to sit/stand for the concert. We were blessed to not have a regular smoker directly by us the entire night. At first three "teen" boys were chain smoking these little cigars in front of us. Luckily, the smell didn't really come our way and they don't smell as bad as cigarettes. I swear they were not 18. It was almost as if they were free from their parents, so they could smoke away and be "awesome." My heart broke for them. I wanted to scream and yell at them. "They do not know what they do, Lord." The teacher, mother instinct, health freak, and spiritual guide in me wanted so much more for them. As we waited for the concert to begin, I chatted a little with the man on my right hand side of me. I asked him how old he thought the boys were and commented on the situation. Soon the concert started and although the air was filled with smoke, a breeze would come here and there. A while later the man asked if I would mind if he smoked and in that split second two things happened: my heart sank and then he quickly said, "You do. I don't need to smoke." I told him he could smoke. He must have caught on with all the conversations Matt and I had possibly as well, and that I would mind. He said again that he wouldn't. I told him I would appreciate it if he didn't, but he could do whatever he wanted. He said no again and I thanked him. What a sacrifice! What a gift! What a blessing. What a gentleman! Of course I felt somewhat bad after, because he would come and go throughout the rest of the concert. I knew he was going to smoke. BUT I knew that was his choice. It was his choice to ask me and his choice not to smoke by me. In those split seconds when I didn't say anything and he responded for me I was thinking, "I don't know what I'll do if he smokes. I guess I'll have to move somewhere, but where?" So, it was a true blessing. It's not often you get someone that acts selfless like that. 4. We have each other If you know me very well, you know I get flat tires often! Probably every few years. No one knows this until now, but I will regularly get out and check my tires when I feel like my car is driving funny. I am so glad that the car I drive now tells me how many PSIs each tire has, so I know I am in good shape. I check that regularly as well. Matt and I experienced out first flat tire together today while driving on HWY 41. He had a tire issue not too long ago and he asked why this all was happening. I can't claim I had anything to do with the last tire since I wasn't there, but I joked that it was because I am in his life...and flat tires are my thing unfortunately! The second thought in my head was, "BUT if this is my only "not so great thing," you've got a good thing! There are far more bad things you could have, but you don't!" And so, we got through this experience together. I know that there will be more flat tires to come literally and metaphorically in our relationship, but if we have each other that's what's most important. |
So this is me...I am a woman who lives with passion, self-reflection, and a desire to do God's will.
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