This week was flowered with the concept of self reflection in various ways. I left work frustrated after talking with a parent who couldn't come to terms with our late fee for registration. Instead of making me feel like dirt, I felt as if she needed a "come to Jesus moment" where she admitted to herself that she missed the deadline and would take the consequences like an adult should. That didn't happen. I felt she could use some good self reflection time. I thought more about what it means to be a self reflective person as a result. It is through self reflection that I have become a better person. The Holy Spirit convicts me, my heart softens, I seek God's (and sometimes others) forgiveness, and I learn and grow to become a better person. This is not always an easy process. God may reveal something "ugly" that I need to work on. Maybe I hurt someone or I've made a poor choice in my life. Both need mending and healing. Admitting we are wrong is never an easy decision, but it is necessary. The situation will most likely come up again if we try to move forward without doing the work, making things right, and healing. Robert Frost said, "The best way out is through." People can also be the victim when we decide to push off self reflection, true one-on-one/heart-to-heart Jesus time, and move forward. That time could happen very quickly within a conversation you are having with another person. You would pause, take a moment to reflect, be with Jesus, and then respond. On the other hand, the time could be hours, days, or weeks in different situations. But the results very greatly when there isn't a reflection moment. The situation was for you to take ownership of and instead you put it on the other person. It is their fault; they are to blame; they are horrible... There is no room to understand where you truly stand in the situation. You don't even think about the other person/organization/business or what have you. You could have been mad about something else that day and you're projecting these feelings onto this person. This is just one of the many examples. Take a moment, be with Jesus, and reflect. The "paths" we still need to revisit so we can mend them will take longer. I suggest taking one situation at a time. Work on it with God by talk with Him, read Scripture (reflect on it and pray...maybe one word or phrase will stick out to you), and talk to someone if needed. This someone should be a person who can tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear...the fluffy pretty stuff. You really want the straight up truth given from a place of love and respect. Sometimes that is painful, but it is necessary. Try not to get caught up in taking the advice personal. Take it, reflect on it, and use what you can for what you need to make right in the situation. After all, you don't need another situation! It is important to move on from a situation once we have worked through it and mended anything we needed between others, ourselves, and God. This is probably one of the most important steps. For some it is the hardest. Someone once told me it's like taking out the trash. You did the work. You took the trash out. God took it away. He forgave you. So, why are you always trying to take it back? Let yourself be free from it. Why are you continuing to give it power over you and trapping yourself? Let yourself be free from it! You are free...you are free. If you need to say, "I am free," do it. Let go of the shame, guilt, pressure, anger, sadness, embarrassment... When we become regular self reflectors, we become goal setters! This is the exciting part. We see that we are not the best version of ourselves, but we want to be and we want to work towards that. So, we get busy doing that ALL THE TIME! Hopefully by this point, people that are regular self reflectors, are not in a negative place all the time. We can embrace failures knowing it is the only way we can succeed. And when we have those moments when we forget to reflect, go to Jesus, and then respond and we hurt others and ourselves, we go through the step necessary to be on our way to becoming the best version of ourselves. I have a destination in mind of where I want to be. That is heaven. I am ready to leave here any day at any time. I do not fear death. Do I think I am the best version of myself right now? Absolutely not! But, I want to work towards that all the time, so hopefully the day I die I can say I tried my hardest in my time. I believe it starts with being self reflective, involving God, setting and working towards goals, forgiving and healing what needs to be, and moving forward. Over and over again in whatever order, in time, we become a better version of our self. Here's just a little part of an awesome talk from Matthew Kelly! -What's your game changer? What are you going to do now that's different from before to make your life better? -Who are you, where are you and where are you going? -What does your bigger future look like? What is it going to take to build that bigger future? -What do you ensure? You ensure dreams! Are you clear about your dreams? -What do you want? What do you want to do? What do you want to become? Learn more about Matthew Kelly here.
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I've been thinking about where I stand with the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge for days. Maybe I am taking it too seriously while most aren't thinking much about it beyond the basics - it's fun, it's for a good cause, it's raising a lot of money, and I get to pass it on! What else is there to think about really?
I've been concerned about our natural water supply in the U.S. for years. Everything especially changed in my mind the day I watched a documentary called, "The Prophets of Doom," where men specialized in certain areas talked about what they see will be our biggest problems in the near future and what we needed to do now. Fresh water was their #1 concern, because we can't live well and long without fresh water. Disease spreads and we don't have fresh water to drink. I think about the water I waste all the time. It's a luxury that I can waste the cold water, because I want warm water to wash my face. It's a luxury to have a hot shower beyond 5 minutes. My showers are ridiculous, and I know this. And the list goes on. So, when I saw the picture on Facebook that showed people throwing water over their heads having a great time raising money for a cause on the top half while a black child (probably from Africa) was drinking from a bottle cap trying to survive on the little amount of water he could, I started to really think about this challenge. We are wasting a valuable resource (water is a natural resource...yes, I know we tend to forget that) to gain something for a cause. Why does there need to be a negative in something good? I just recently posted on Facebook about doing your research about the organizations you are going to support and/or give money to. I felt this guy made some really good points to why we should always be doing this. I wonder how many people have taken the time to learn about ALS and the organization their money is going to. I haven't taken the time to learn more about this organization, but I pray this article isn't true. Here's another one from Time. I'm going to be honest, the only knowledge I have of ALS is of Buddy's mom from Cake Boss (or whatever the Cake show is) that I watch once in a while. My heart is set in other things right now. Which leads me to my next point... It is exciting and scary how people have flocked to this cause. I see this movement as amazing (minus the water waste and the stem cell research) if people took the time to know about ALS, the organization, and then got behind it by raising money and donated. I'm not sure if that has really happened. I can see the hype of it all really being the draw and reality here. The scary part is how we get caught up in a hype and almost "blindly" follow each other doing something because it "sounds/looks/feels good or fun." What has happened in history where people flocked to do things because it sounded good and in the end maybe they should have thought about it a little more? In reality the ALS Bucket Challenge will not be that evil. But I think this whole hype calls for a step back. When I sat down in church waiting for the baptismal pictures to be done, I read through the church bulletin. Even the church was getting involved in this challenge by making it part of one of their youth events. It made me wonder if the Youth Minister had thought through the concerns of all people, the social justice aspect we as Catholics try to watch out for, before we plan events. I realize we are all human, but if churches are even getting on board with this, I think something is wrong here. Have some ran too quickly to their kitchen facets and freezers? What about the challenge now makes opening up the pocket book possible when before it wasn't even possible or likely? That first person got creative and truly played off the power of a challenge and social networking! But we must not forget how powerful it is to fall into the trap to just follow one another. We must think for ourselves first and then make a decision. I happily declined my first nomination. He was nice enough to ask me first. I will continue to decline. Don't worry, I still have more than enough fun in my life. I don't take all things this seriously all the time. And, I am happy with where my money went with my last donation. I also know where my next donation is going when I am ready to donate it. My heart is happy with my donations even if a few to no one else knows about them; the donation wasn't necessarily fun, and the giving doesn't get passed on. What I do know is my love was shared, their lives may be affected in many ways, and they will be a blessing to others as a result. Today was a great day! It started with a decision to make it a positive day. I posted this on Facebook: "This morning make a decision to not let one negative word come out of your mouth today. NOT ONE. Will you agree? Up for the challenge?" I was excited to do this after the last few days that seemed stressful. I know much of our attitudes can make or break our days, but getting ready for Faith Formation registration can be a trying time! lol So, today I was going to try hard to MAKE it a great day, especially by keeping my thoughts and words positive! To my surprise, the keynote speaker to the Administrator's Day today was a gym teacher! That explained why we were to dress casual and why we were going to be active. Before I knew it, gym teacher Steve had us in a circle around two ropes in the shape of a circle. One rope was inside of the other. I can't quite remember the excise exactly, but it went something like this: We were to decide where we wanted to go.
Where do you think I went and why? It felt good to go to the inner most circle. The inner most circle is new to me! It is out of my comfort zone. It is a place of risk taking, adventure, and of the unknown. On this day, it was also a place that could test my physical abilities. That was also exciting. When did that get exciting for me?!? It felt new, odd, and exciting to go to the inner circle. But here's the thing, I now have the confidence in myself and my physical abilities to go to that inner circle - a place of risks, adventure, and of the unknown. When did this happen? It happened over time, slowly but surely. It happened through conditioning my body gaining muscle and strength. It happened when I achieved goals that I never thought were possible (and I am still making new goals ALL THE TIME!). It happened when this kind of lifestyle became a way of life and started to change my life...embracing the unknown with confidence is just one change. I tell people that working out will change your life far beyond losing weight. As I reflected on what got me to go to the inner circle, it felt great knowing it was all my hard work at the gym (with and without a personal trainer...but especially with) that got me there! It has nothing to do with how I looked, but 100% on what my body is capable of achieving and my confidence. If you don't believe me, I can prove it to you! There were times that I was still self-conscious about my body image as we did physical activities. I didn't like the clothing I was wearing. Of course I didn't come in my workout clothes to an in-service type day! But that didn't matter. What mattered was my confidence, willingness to step in and try, and knowing my body is capable. When this is true, so much can happen in our lives! I came across this blogger who has shared 10 truths about working out. It is one of the best articles I've read! When I read this, I found myself say, "YES," to every single truth. More living happens the more active, healthy, confident, and happy we are. So who once said that all we have to fear is fear itself? When we don't fear the fear to the point that it stops us in our tracks anymore, but we take control and move beyond...much can happen. The "impossible" can happen. Dreams are born. We are far more powerful than we can even image goes the other saying. Check out this video: Decisions to make to reprogram your brain to overcome fear:
You can reprogram your brain to overcome fear! You can do anything you set your mind to! A few weeks ago Trainer Tyler took our workout session outside. To me these are always hard sessions and ones the fighter from within must show up for a good fight! It was a good fight... Never in all the times I've been in a tractor riding along side my dad and grandfather, did I think, "Yeah, I'm going to lift and turn one of those tires one day!" Well, the dead weight of a tire sat on the grass waiting for us - my partner and me. You don't lift these babies with your back or you'll hurt your back, so down we went into a squat inching our fingers underneath the tire. Then we counted to 3 and began to lift the tire using the strength in our arms and legs to push up. Next my knee helped push the tire more into the upright position and our arms did the rest of the work with a grunt (by me!). Here's a picture to get an idea, BUT it was absolutely necessary to squat lower. After about 8-10 of these, we picked up regular-sized tires and flung them from one hip crossing over our body and up to the opposite shoulder and released them. We repeated this many times. These are called windmills. Then we were off to the hill! Bear crawls up and crab walks down. This was the toughest on my body with a side ache. Repeated 3 times. Run back and repeated everything all over again! I can't remember what else we may have done different...dips on the tire and maybe other exercises, but we returned to the tire lifts for a total of 3 rounds. Which means we lifted them close to 30 times all together. It was tough. Was it the most painful exercise so far? No. BUT, it was very challenging and close to impossible without my partner and the determination that I was going to get the job done! Afterwards, it was pretty amazing to reflect on it. A year ago, I NEVER would have had the strength to do that. The adrenaline that kicked in to get the job done was exhilarating! That tire was going to be flipped. We were flipping them. We were strong, and we were powerful! That's the adrenaline. It is pretty amazing even when you don't think you have anything more to give! The work I do when I am working with a personal trainer is hard. It is by far the hardest work my body has ever done. My body never experienced what an athlete's does in high school and college, nor did it even experience being active on its own through running or working out regularly. It wasn't any easier from the beginning carrying more than 100 extra pounds either. I think I could safely say that most people in my situation don't last as long as I have with personal training. It ain't no gym class, and I hated gym! lol I can completely understand why after a session or two why people say they felt like they were dying and never came back. I felt like I was dying a slow death and maybe a fast one at times. Last week I had a migraine and I felt like I was going to puke. A few months ago my stomach hurt, and I was barely hanging on. A year ago was pretty rough coming back after two weeks from being sick. Sometimes the sessions are so hard that I barely making it. BUT the thing is, I didn't die. And the next day I am healthier, fitter, and stronger. "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Soon what was painful isn't painful anymore, because I've trained and got those muscles into shape. As I get stronger, I become powerful. It is powerful to know as a woman that I am fit (or on my way) - that I have toned and strengthened the muscles that God gave me, so that when I need to do certain tasks they aren't hard or impossible anymore. My body is powerful and I know it is. We can do amazing things with our bodies, but we have to take care of them. I continue to realize what I can do that I couldn't before. Today I realized for the second time that I can come into a sit-up position without using my hands. This spring I realized how easy it was to lift the large bag of ice in the store using only my arm strength. Before I would have used my back, whereas now I engage my core and lift using my arms, which has the strength now. This builds confidence as well. I don't worry about my back going out again, and I am beginning to do more things physically that I just couldn't do before. I would without a doubt recommend personal training for anyone. But you will work your butt off. You will want to stop. Saying it is hard is an understatement at times. And you might just think you are dying. However, your body will be transformed in ways you never imagined and that spills over into other areas of your life. It does get easier in someways, but there is always something in fitness that will kick your butt. I simply just recommend getting active, fit, and eating healthy. Just think if I didn't take the year off after I joined the Y like I did, I would be even closer to my goals. Here are some quotes to get you thinking... |
So this is me...I am a woman who lives with passion, self-reflection, and a desire to do God's will.
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